Ask better questions and YOU too will get better results

It has been 6 months since I was sat on the balcony after the announcement of a Dubai wide lockdown. Back then I was not certain what the coaching world would look like having been someone who had been seeing the vast majority of his clients face to face.

Would it even be possible to continue in my career? Would people be able to afford coaching? Would people ask for a refund for their journeys? How would I support my new family if we would both be out of work?

These were the fear based and ‘self’ questions that would surface inside my mind as panic and uncertainty took over. Can you recognise any of them in you? As an experienced coach I quickly noticed the danger signs of regression. When uncertainty happens many people will go into their survival mode and either look only at their needs or ask really disempowering questions that will not help them get the results they want in life. If I am being honest for the first week I was spiraling, and my state was being affected. Quite honestly if I had continued in this frame I would have created the very things I was afraid of.

Luckily for me something switched inside me as I stared out of balcony overlooking the lakes in the Greens. ‘Wake up Adam!’ ‘Ask better questions’ These words took hold of me and shook me to my core.

How can I grow and contribute even more?

My old driving question resurfaced and instantly I felt better. I did not have the answers I just knew I was on a better path as I was asking a better question. By the end of that day I had started to contribute and grow by writing an e-book (A toast to Corona – Our disruptive ‘friend’) that I was aiming to give for free to people struggling to cope. I knew i was not the best writer yet the passion and speed I wrote was all because I was uplifted by a better question.

I also committed to setting other goals focused on growth and contribution – 2 spiritual needs that lead to a more fulfilling life and achieved the following:

  • Write a Covid book to help people thrive during it
  • Posted on social media
  • Record weekly videos for Neuron a medical health company
  • Appear in at least 5 magazines / papers in UK and Dubai
  • Understand the power and reach of Zoom and do sessions on it around the world
  • Say yes to podcasts and insta/facebook requests
  • Do at least one webinar to a major corporation to help their staff
  • Wake up at 5am for 66 days in a row
  • Read a coaching book chapter every day
  • Sign up for at least 3 online courses and master classes

I am pleased to say I have met the majority of these. Does it mean I have been perfect…? Nope….Does it mean I am improving …? Yes and to be honest that is what I want to see in myself and others. As I explain to the many clients I have coached over the last decade, the power of your own questions and thoughts has the ability to make you feel fulfilled or leave you in a bad place. Literally your life is only as good as the questions you ask yourself and focus on. I, like my team are on a similar journey with you.

Now looking back I am pleased to say that as a direct result of my mindset and actions my coaching clients not only stayed working with me, embracing Zoom, I have never been busier.

I say this to highlight how success happens in the mind first and then in the doing. Mindset and actions have always been the key in your hand to your happiness. There are opportunities out there for you all even if like my wife you have lost your job through no fault of your own. The ones who win out of this will be the ones who are thinking better thoughts and asking better questions. Your patience, resilience to uncertainty and trust in yourself and that the universe has your back is what is needed and will become your greatest gifts.

I challenge you to keep growing and to really work on the thought and questions you ask yourself. As always I, and my team, are here to support you in your personal, professional or family journey. Explore an intake session to see where you are now in your life and where you want to get too. Myself and my team can then help you get there and be with you every step of the way as you understand yourself better.

Try These 3 Things Before Turning to Meds for Better Sleep

Insomnia and other sleep disorders are something that shouldn’t be ignored, as they come with a bevy of short-term and long-term consequences to your health and well-being. And while prescription meds are sometimes an effective temporary solution, they can exacerbate sleep issues over time. Fortunately, there may be ways to improve your sleep without turning to medication. If you’re tired of tossing and turning through the night, try the following drug-free methods: Use smartphone apps, make sure you have a smartphone that can power the apps, and invest in a new mattress.

1. Incorporate Smartphone Apps in Your Routine

Using smartphones—as with TVs, computers and tablets—in the bedroom is known to disrupt sleep. However, there are ways to use your smartphone that can actually improve your sleep if done carefully. For example, there are tons of apps that are designed solely for enhancing sleep. Let’s take a quick look at a few of them:

  • Pillow Automatic Sleep Tracker for iPhone tracks and analyzes your sleep trends through your phone or Apple Watch. Via smart technology, the app will wake you at the perfect time in your sleep cycle each morning. Also, it provides personalized advice and soothing sounds to help you achieve quality rest.
  • Capture is an iPhone app that provides a platform to record and analyze your dreams. It also has dream-inducing music and reality check methods for lucid dreamers.
  • Headspace centers around sleep-aid sounds and guided meditations. The app’s goal is to improve each user’s quantity and quality of sleep.
  • SnoreLab is an app for iOS and Android that records your snoring through the night. All you have to do is keep your phone by your bedside, and it analyzes the recordings and provides a Snore Score by morning. Not only can you listen to the recordings, but the app also uses metrics to single out snore trends each night.

2. Make Sure You Have a Quality Phone

Of course, if you’re going to use sleep apps like these, you need to ensure that your smartphone is up to the task. If your phone is outdated, you run the risk of it overloading and crashing in the middle of the night, which can throw a wrench in your sleep routine plan. If necessary, consider upgrading to a new phone. The new iPhone 11 has day-long battery life, which is more than enough capacity for an eight-hour night of sleep. Plus, there are a plethora of apps that are exclusive to iOS.

If you’re not a fan of Apple products, look into the Samsung Galaxy S10 +. This phone also has a great battery life, as well as powerful software that can smoothly run all of your apps.

3. Get a New Mattress

A mattress that has endured too much wear and tear can make it difficult to achieve quality rest through the night. If you shift around all night, wake up with aches and pains, see sagging or lumps in the mattress, or rotating it doesn’t help, it may be time for you to go mattress shopping.

If you determine that you need a new mattress, it’s important to do your research beforehand to ensure you choose the right type. You’ll need to consider your body type and preferred sleep position—side, back and stomach.

Prescription meds are not always the best answer for improving sleep. Look into the wealth of smartphone sleep apps available. If your phone is too old to keep up with the apps you need to use, consider upgrading to a newer model. Also, evaluate your mattress, and research different types if you find that you need a new one. If these methods help you achieve deeper sleep without medication, they’ll be well worth the investment.

How being an overachiever can lead to serious long-term misery and simple steps to become a high performer

Are you an overachiever or a high performer? Throughout my coaching experience I have coached many hardworking clients who have come to me because they are working long hours, are anxious and stressed about the future and unbalanced. In a recent article I was recently asked what the difference between an overachiever and a high performer was and to give tips on how to transition from the unhealthy role of an overachiever to the more healthy and rewarding role of a high performer.

Before I delve into some detail about the traits of an overachiever through a set of questions, it is important to sumarise the key aspects of the high performer. These people understand that the process is just as important as the result. They are the ones who nurture the people around them and build up businesses. The journey becomes the vital component in ensuring true long term success. So as you can see it is very healthy and fruitful to become a high performer, but why is it so unhealthy to be an overachiever?

Q) In your opinion what qualities or characteristics set overachievers apart from the rest?

  • They are future focused, constantly worrying about what the future holds rather than enjoying the present and the journey itself.
  • They are perfectionists, going above and beyond on each and every task they do.
  • Work long hours, doing more of the work that people would stay away from.
  • They hate failure or fear it and if they fail they view it as a slight on themselves.
  • They secretly have a lot of self doubt, thinking they are not good enough.
  • They seek love and approval through external ways. They will work harder than everyone else and do more on a task because they think it equates to love. By working hard people will love them more.

Q) Do you think that once a person starts doing well in a certain field there is a certain pressure to continue to excel? Both internally and externally?

  • Yes if you start very well and set high (unrealistic) expectations to start with you will be putting pressure on yourself and facing pressure from others to maintain or even surpass that level. Raise the bar too soon and you are expected to keep growing and pushing on, sometimes to an unrealistic level. I believe slow and steady wins the race and it is better for long term emotional health. Pick and choosing what to excel or work even harder on is key. The bosses will give more work and praise lots. You may come addicted to the validation that you associate with praise, feeling love and respect comes from working harder and getting praised. You will then search for more to do and say yes to things you should not be doing and that others don’t want to do.

Q) Tell me about that internal pressure — how can it take a toll on a person?

  • It can lead to that person becoming stressed and exhausted. All the long hours to get ahead of the game and doing work to ‘perfection’ – editing it, improving it and never quite thinking it will be good enough. It may lead to you not sleeping that much or have interrupted sleep as your brain is engaged and active.
  • The never-ending competition with yourself and others will inevitably take its strain. Overachievers view failure more as a personal reflection on themselves and it will eat them up inside, whereas a high performer is more likely to embrace failure as part of the journey to ultimate goals. Rather than fear it and stay in the comfort zone they seek challenges and the growth that comes from that.

Q) Can it lead to an early burnout?

  • Yes over achievers tend to be unbalanced. They tend to sacrifice their social life for a perfectionist life duly working on everything they are given regardless of the value it adds.
  • They will feel resentment in long term and quickly burn out. If you imagine spinning lots of plates at once, eventually you will become tired and drop them.

Q) What can over achievers start to do to handle the internal pressure?

  • They can set a realistic time limit on their decisions and tasks and stick to it as best as they can. Flawlessness and perfection is impossible, in fact it’s the enemy of good. Yes its ok to do over and above for some things but not everything. Pick over and above for the high value tasks.
  • Start to do less important things imperfectly – set a certain time for those tasks and do the best job within that time slot. Then assign more time for the high priority, bigger, and most valuable tasks.
  • Think about your work duties and strengths and take a moment to ask yourself the following things:
    “Is this something I’m expected to do within my job role?”
    “Is this something I enjoy and have a strength for doing?”
    If yes…
    “How will it benefit me or the company if I do it?”
    “What is the value added of doing this job?”
  • Focus on work that adds value not putting excessive work into things anybody can do and becoming a busy bee. Anybody work does not get you the promotion.
  • Know when to wait, when to attack, how to sacrifice, and when to change direction.
  • Take a moment to meditate daily (headspace app) so you are in the present instead of angry/upset about past and being anxious or worried about the future.

Q) What can over achievers do to handle the external pressure? (from parents/ friends/ teachers or colleagues if they’re working)

  • Communicate openly and honestly to manage expectations
  • Learn to say no on occasions to work that does not add value.
  • Take time out to strategies and target the value added / most important task first.
  • Listen to your own self-talk and be more loving towards yourself. Your words and thoughts are more valuable than others.
  • Take time out for self (life balance). Make your health (physical and emotionally) the most important priority.
  • Start meditation. Try first with Headspace – a free app to get you into the present frame of mind for 10-15 minutes a day. Remember you don’t need to be great at it, do your best and know you will improve. Know that great things take time and commitment.
  • Learn to take off the mask and put the ego aside. Practise being your transparent, authentic and honest self.

Q) What should all overachievers keep in mind in order to transition into high performers (achievers)?

  • It is so important to remember that the joy is in the journey itself and not purely on the outcome. Success or failure is simply feedback and learning that will help your future growth.
  • Life is about taking risks and sometimes failing. It is how you will ultimately grow. Good and great things come outside the comfort (dying) zone and on the other end of fear are the challenges you need to grow.
  • Choose tasks that will quicken your growth, that are a struggle, yet add great value. You cannot win and be great at everything. Pick and select what you will do and what you will work over and above at.
  • You feeling of love do not come from someone else praise on the tasks you do. It comes from inside of you. Work on loving yourself regardless. Get in the habit of talking positively about yourself and your worth.
  • Differentiate between the image you project and the real person you are. As an overachiever, you are tempted by the trappings of success because they are proof that, “You won the game.” At least this one. You feeling of love do not come from someone else praise on the tasks you do. It comes from inside of you. Work on loving yourself regardless. Get in the habit of getting self recognition (talking positively about yourself and your worth) rather than external recognition
  • Start to say no to unrealistic expectation from others and most importantly from yourself.

10 strategies for successful revision from a child that knows…

My job is pretty amazing. On any given day I get to work one to one with some great insightful minds, whether it be a top leader of a car company here in Dubai or a child.

Seb, age 12, has gone on an amazing journey of development over the last 6 months. He has been relentless in his quest to improve his focus and grades at school. I am sure his exams over the coming month will reflect the progress he has made internally and externally. Below I have taken some of his amazing strategies for revision success. The beautiful thing is some of these tips were in our discussion to get success in sport or gaming and then he realised they can also be applied to exams.

Note: I have added my own coach tips below his.

Feel free to share this blog post on your social media or with your child. The best bit about coaching is the contribution we can make when people share what they like to read…

1. Remember the worst thing that can happen is that you will get feedback. Yes failure or mistakes are just feedback. The key is to take the learning from it, change something for the next time and go again. When taking the learning ask yourself better questions. What can I do differently? How can I _____?

Coach Tip: Ask yourself better questions, questions that will get you to see the possibility of changing something.

2. Winning is an amazing addictive feeling. If you are going to be in school and have to study anyways then it is best to put 100% focus, attention and effort in. The more wins you can get the greater the momentum and the better the feeling.

Coach Tip: A win breeds more wins – positive momentum follows and attracts more success.

3. If you practise in between exams it releases pressure and helps your in exam skillset. Practise the technique over and over again. If you only learn facts but don’t learn the technique of writing an essay your grades will not reflect your knowledge.

Coach Tip – Learn the strategies that enable success and that you can apply your knowledge too.

4. Rewrite notes to aid memory and watch videos to inspire learning. It is well known that people remember things that they rewrite in their own words or that they watch. Children nowadays can find great ways of learning something online.

Coach Tip – Understand how you like to learn and use that medium. There are brilliant subject revision games on sites such as bbc bite size or documentaries on youtube for History.

5. Set an amount of time per day on test revision and stick to it. Be consistent. Try to do two half hour slots or one hour slot per subject / day for example.

Coach Tip – Scheduling is crucial. Design a quick timetable of what topics you will do/day and stick to it.

6. On weekends get at least one early night so you can get up early and while brain in shape you can revise. Then you have an early victory with which to build on during the day. You will also be refreshed. Tiredness can create stress and affect grades.

Coach Tip– Rest and sleep is crucial to exam success. Stay balanced. Go to bed early and wake refreshed.

7. Start revision a couple of months early and if you have not started start now. It is never too late to start and also you will know better for next time.

Coach Tip – Do a little bit of active revision each week throughout the year. If you do this you will have less to do in the last month before exams and always be one step ahead practically and emotionally.

8. Take control of your state. Listen to music you like that gets you in the mood. This is something you can fully control going into exams. Choose a different music song per subject. Before the English exam listen to the song that you chose to listen to during the English revision.

Coach Tip – Your state is under your control. You may not know exactly what will happen in the exam but you can set yourself up for success pre exam by committing to being in a great up lifiting state. State > Behaviour > Result.

9. Always reward yourself with breaks between revision topics and blocks. The breaks are a great way to clear your mind before you go onto another topic or subject.

Coach Tip – “The space between the notes creates the beautiful music” – enjoy the refreshing breaks with a clear head when you know you have done your focused block of revision.

10. Write down four revision goals for day. Reward yourself when you have achieved those goals as you deserve it. Imagine how good some treats will be when you fully deserve them.

Coach Tip – Enjoy the journey and the outcome will take care of itself. Reward the small milestones within your exam success journey.

I hope this has helped. Would love to know your thoughts on these tips and which one was the best for your child.

Have a wonderful day,

Adam Zargar
Director of UAE Coaching

If you would like further information regarding our child development life coaching service click here


Releasing limiting beliefs for massive results

“We learn our belief systems as very little children, and then we move through life creating experiences to match our beliefs. Look back in your own life and notice how often you have gone through the same experience.” -Louise L. Hay

Limiting beliefs are the silent saboteurs that lie in wait ready to prevent us from achieving our goals, or to cause us to self-sabotage our achievements, because deep inside we falsely believe that we don’t deserve them.

The difficulty with limiting beliefs, is that they are not always obvious, but with a little reflection and conversation with your inner voice, you can normally identify them.

Limiting beliefs are predominantly formed at a young age and become a part of your story. Perhaps you lost a running race when you were young, so you told yourself that you weren’t good at sports; or maybe your English teacher told you that your writing skills weren’t up to scratch so you just accepted that you weren’t good at languages. It could even have been that you told a joke once and no one laughed, so you decided to shy away from ever telling jokes again or speaking in public. Each of us have had a number of these experiences in our lives that shook our confidence and went on to shape the person we are today. The important thing to remember, is that you are not the same person you were 5 years ago, 5 months ago, or even 5 minutes ago. The only moment in time that has any relevance is now, this very second that you are reading this article.

Aside from labeling yourself as a particular type of person, you can often spot limiting beliefs in the way you react to certain situations. For example, if you’re experiencing financial problems, you may go through a number of feelings, including anxiety, anger and hopelessness. If you allow yourself to sit with those feelings, you’ll find the limiting belief right beneath them. Anxiety normally arises when you are worried about what others will say. Anger comes from a sense of injustice. Hopelessness arises when you don’t feel good enough.

Releasing limiting beliefs:

  1. Speak with a trusted friend, family member or coach and share with them the moments when you have experienced really strong emotions towards a situation, or perhaps things that scare you like public speaking.
  2. Get them to ask you questions about these feelings and get to the root of where the emotion comes from. When was the first time you remember being scared of public speaking?
  3. Write your discoveries down on paper.
  4. Say aloud a couple of times and write the words, ‘these are only beliefs, they are not truths’
  5. Use your imagination to reframe the belief in a way that is aligned with what you want. ‘In the past I have prevented people from seeing the fantastic public speaker that I am.’ Once you realize that these limiting beliefs are only thoughts in your head and that they have no power over you, you are free to write the next chapter in your story exactly as you wish. Ask your friend or family member to keep you accountable to speaking your new truth.

Beyond specific limiting beliefs, many people are also unaware of the negative language that they use on a daily basis, that constantly wears away at their self-confidence and prevents them fulfilling their dreams. A powerful exercise to help you become aware of the language that you are using, is to keep a journal for a week of any negative statements or thought patterns. At the end of the week, review your notes and rephrase each statement in a positive way. You’ll be amazed at how negativity sneaks into every day phrases. For example, rather than saying ‘Don’t forget to pick up the dry cleaning’, say ‘Remember to pick up the dry cleaning.’

Once you release your limiting beliefs and become aware of the power of self-talk, you will feel your life shift massively. You deserve success and you will achieve it.

If you would like to know further information regarding our personal coaching service please click here.

If you would like a FREE strategy session with one of our Master life coaches please contact us on +971 551387652 or drop us an email at

Discover the 10 Steps to understanding ‘What’ is important to you’

Are there times in your life when you wonder why certain situations, jobs, conversations just don’t feel right? We often say “I just didn’t warm to him/her” or “I’m not happy with the work ethic of that company.”

In our lives, we all have things we hold as important that we wish to be met in the varying contexts of our life e.g work, home, health.

Are there times in your life when you wonder why certain situations, jobs, conversations just don’t feel right? We often say “I just didn’t warm to him/her” or “I’m not happy with the work ethic of that company.”

In our lives, we all have things we hold as important that we wish to be met in the varying contexts of our life e.g work, home, health.  These are our key Criteria.  When our criteria are met, we feel great, aligned and on track.  When these aren’t met, we can feel on edge or unhappy. Things can be going against the grain for us.

Understanding your highest criteria in certain contexts can provide you with the ability to make the right decisions and choices to increase your alignment and being fulfilled in that area of your life.

Whilst your criteria may differ across the various contexts of your life, they will be guided by your Values. Values usually span all the contexts in your life.

Knowing what your values are will help you to make better decisions when you have choices and also help you to understand your reactions and give you more emotional intelligence when your choices are limited.

Understand your higher Criteria and Values and take these 10 steps to become more resourceful for decision-making:

To understand the important Criteria in a context, take the following steps:

  1. Choose an area in your life and ask yourself:

‘What is important to me in this particular context?’

  1. Then ask ‘What else is important?’ and repeat this question so you have at least 6 things listed.
  2. Review the list and choose the three that resonate the most with you.

These are your highest criteria for that area of your life.

  1. Now take a step back, and look at whether your top 3 are being met in that particular context of your life?

If they are: Great! You are likely to feel aligned and comfortable in your current path in that area.

If they are not: How does it make you feel? If you want to improve or change this feeling, ask: ‘How can I create options for my top 3 to be present in that context?’

  1. Repeat this exercise with any of the contexts in your life.

To understand the Values that drive you and your decisions, take the following steps:

  1. Pick a peak experience where you felt aligned. Things were rich, full and flowing. There may have been challenges but you were on a roll.
  2. Now think about what was important to you in that situation. Were there any Values that were being honoured?
  3. Now think about a low experience where something or someone drives you crazy or makes you upset or frustrated. What is it you are feeling, thinking or hearing?
  4. What values in this situation are being violated? Is the value being neglected and you don’t feel ‘true to yourself’?
  5. Now take a step back and look at the relationship between the two experiences (Peak and Low). What are the Values being honoured and neglected?

How does this affect you?

What could you do to have more peak experiences?
What values need to be honoured so you feel more fulfilled?

What can you do so your decisions are more aligned with your Values?

If you can’t make those decisions, now you are aware of the Values being challenged or violated, how can you better manage your response?

What will you do differently now?

When you know what your criteria and values are, it gives you the power to make better-informed decisions, where alignment and satisfaction play out, if you choose for it to. It also gives you an understanding as to why you may feel frustrated, tense or not warming to a person or situation.

Remember:  Your life is your creation.  Is your knowledge of What’s Important To You supportive of a fulfilled life?

You can’t make the proper adjustments if you’re unaware of your challenges. You can’t create change if you don’t make the adjustments.

Contact us for a free strategy session to understand how our Master NLP Life Coaches can help you better understand your life and where you want to be. Email or call us on 0551387652.

How you can grow and become even more successful

“Great things never came at the end of your comfort zone

Did you know that 95% of the behaviour you do is auto piloted and comes in the period of up to 7 years old and is on autopilot. The subconscious mind is a servant that works day and night for you to make your behavior fit a pattern consistent with your emotionalized thoughts, hopes, and desires. Your subconscious mind grows either flowers or weeds in the garden of your life, whichever you plant by the mental equivalents you create.

“Great things never came at the end of your comfort zone

Did you know that 95% of the behaviour you do is auto piloted and comes in the period of up to 7 years old and is on autopilot. The subconscious mind is a servant that works day and night for you to make your behavior fit a pattern consistent with your emotionalized thoughts, hopes, and desires. Your subconscious mind grows either flowers or weeds in the garden of your life, whichever you plant by the mental equivalents you create.

Your subconscious mind keeps you thinking and acting in a manner consistent with what you have done and said in the past.

All your habits of thinking and acting are stored in your subconscious mind. It has memorised all your comfort zones and it works to keep you in them. It causes you to feel emotionally and physically uncomfortable whenever you attempt to do anything new or different, or to change any of your established patterns of behavior.

Have you ever tried something new or risky and then felt an urge or pull to go back toward your comfort zone each time. Even thinking about doing something different from what you’re accustomed to will make you feel tense and uneasy.

Game Changer:

It is precisely what frightens you the most that you need to do.

Many of our clients come to us to develop, to be held accountable for grow by taking action out of their comfort zone. These successful men and women are always stretching themselves, pushing themselves, fully aware how quickly the comfort zone, in any area, becomes a rut. They are the 3% in the world that know that complacency is the great enemy of success


For you to grow, to get out of your comfort zone, you have to be willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable doing new things the first few times. If it’s worth doing well, it’s worth doing poorly until you get a feel for it, until you develop a new comfort zone at a new, higher level of competence.

What is the uncomfortable thing you must do personally and professionally in order to grow?

By coming to us they are not just getting the typical life coach approach to working on the surface level aspects. All our coaches are trained to create lasting change by using Time Line Therapy to help release any negative emotions or limiting beliefs that is sabotaging the conscious brains quest to reach its goals.


Contact us for a free strategy session to understand how our Master NLP Life Coaches can help you, your family or your employees grow. Email or call us on 0551387652

You become what you surround yourself with

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”
– Jim Rohn

A great mentor, coach and friend here in Dubai reminded me of this powerful quote of Jim Rohn recently and it has stuck in my head ever since. It is so simple and yet so true, and when I look back at my days as a teacher, I can see how this adage had directly translated into my pupils, even those as young as 10 years old.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”
– Jim Rohn

A great mentor, coach and friend here in Dubai reminded me of this powerful quote of Jim Rohn recently and it has stuck in my head ever since. It is so simple and yet so true, and when I look back at my days as a teacher, I can see how this adage had directly translated into my pupils, even those as young as 10 years old.

Typically, the unruly children who challenged authority and who felt it was not cool to concentrate on their studies would all hang out together, whilst the diligent children who respected authority and the opportunities their scholastic success would bring, gathered together to work the hard and listen attentively in class. Think back to your childhood, I’m sure this was true in your school too.

This pack mentality begins the moment we are born. We are natural copiers, acquiring characteristics from our earliest influences and continuing to absorb traits for our entire lives. Similarly to my reflections of the school yard, I can reminisce on the spectrum of jobs I have held over the years, the mixed teams I have worked in and the colleagues I have found myself spending the most time with. Typically, I am generally a positive person, but when I started to spend time around people that felt disenfranchised by their jobs, held a weak work ethic or were generally pessimistic, this quickly started to infiltrate my psyche.

This moment of recognition was monumental in my life and I made a mental promise to myself, to always surround myself with a myriad of like-minded, successful and hard-working people who took pride in excelling.

Taking this powerful Jim Rohn quote one step further, you could say, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, the five books you last read and the five shows you last watched”, but quietly acknowledging that Game of Thrones is the most recent series that I’ve been consuming in abandon, I hope that there is some leeway in these assumptions.

In the spirit of sharing this Ramadan, here are some tools and learning updates from me to you, so you can bring your average up:

#1. Take time to evaluate your ‘Emotional Energy Bank.’

List the people in your life that you spend the most time with and assign a score from negative 100 to plus 100, supporting your score with evidence.
– Negative 100 signifies that they zap all of the energy from you, leaving you thoroughly drained and incapable of mustering any positivity.
– Plus 100 represents those individuals who exude positivity, a can-do attitude and boundless vitality for life, leaving you feeling completely energized, like you can achieve anything you put your mind too.

Zapper (-100) _______________________0_______________________Energiser (+100)

Once you have done that, identify the individual situations where you typically spend more time with the energizers or with the zappers, then make a concerted effort to only spend time in energizing situations with energizing people. You will be amazed how quickly doors will open for you, things will miraculously appear to go your way and you will leave the zappers long behind.

#2. Avidly focus on individuals who inspire and mentor you:

I have always made it one of my success rituals to spend quality time with people who I admire and can learn from. Even if it is only a single dinner, or a five-minute chat over a green tea, these moments are gold-dust. It doesn’t even have to be someone that you know personally.

Identify the areas of mastery that you want to manifest in your life and seek out those who are already masterful in these areas. Read the books they read, practice the habits they exhort and meditate on their pillars of success. They have already done the hard work for you.

Kevin Spacey famously said, ‘if you are lucky enough to do well, then it is your duty to send the elevator back down.’

Every truly successful person will recognize all those who have helped them reach where they are today and will be happy to help others on their journey. The internet makes things even easier for you by giving you direct access to the most accomplished people in the world. It’s your duty to tune into them, even if it is only a five minute YouTube video in the morning as you brush your teeth, or some of the motivational videos we share on the UAE Coaching Facebook page. Luckily for me as a coach, I get to regularly meet with like-minded coaches and clients.

So what are you waiting for? Take five minutes and list at least one person who inspires you in each of the prime areas in your life. Fitness, family, friends, intimate relationships, learning and hobbies, are all key areas that will benefit from your attention. You will probably be able to think of more, and it is personal to each of us. Create a mental or physical list of positive influencers that you can refer to and consciously realign your intentions when you feel you are going off-track.

List their name, their role, why they inspire you, and commit yourself to a time and place that you will set aside specially to learn from them.

Mish – Professional – Inspiring entrepreneur- Saturday 12-2pm dinner
Linda – Personal – Positive about relationships- Tuesday 7-9pm green tea

#3. Garbage in garbage out. Your media consumption is crucial to success:

We are exposed to a maelstrom of content on a daily basis, from the very moment we open our eyes, roll over and look at the newsfeeds on our mobile phones. You can be easily sucked-in to watching some irrelevant reality TV show, featuring people that you would not like to be, or reading negative, inflammatory news that immediately distracts you from your core purpose. You have to be fastidious about the types of material that you are exposing yourself to, because like the people you surround yourself with, it will quickly alter the quality of your thinking.

I will make it a morning ritual to read The Greatness Guide by Robin Sharma to discover some simple, effective strategies that ensure my personal and professional success. I am also dedicated to watching inspiring, transformational documentaries that transcend the everyday dumbing down that is synonymous with pop culture.

#4. Seek out the best in their field:

When you want to improve in something, the quickest and best way is to hire an expert in that field, or spend time in the company of someone with inexhaustible passion and dedication. I like to think of this as an investment (money and time) rather than a cost. The knowledge you get from this has multiplying effects and is the best way to get professional and personal success. I make it my business to seek out the best workshops, coach training organisations, personal trainers and corporate trainers here in Dubai. I know this is why I also attract some of the best coaching clients around, success attracts success.

I hope these 4 tips will help you grow both personally and professionally, rise in mastery and bring up your average. When you do this consistently, imagine the impact you will have on the world around you and the average of others.

The Freak Factor | Amplify Your Weaknesses!

Speaker, Ironman and all round tall person, David Rendall has got the Freak Factor and he’s proud of it. In direct contravention of orders from his parents and teachers to quash his weaknesses by sitting down and being quiet, David is now in global demand for doing the exact opposite. People actually pay him to stand up, put on a show and talk as much as he possibly can! So, how did he achieve this and embrace his calling in life? He realised that you discover uniqueness by flaunting weakness.


Meeting David Rendall - Strengths, Weakness, Coaching, UAE
Managing Director of UAE Coaching, Adam Zargar meets David Rendall. Pink trousers – now that’s unique and Dave knows it!


Throw Away Your Cookie Cutter

David captivated the imaginations of the entire University of Dubai auditorium when he spoke in the UAE last week. You could hear the collective sigh of relief and physically feel the inner children of hundreds of people tentatively peaking out from their lifelong prison. He gave them permission to step away from the cookie cutters that society is constantly chasing them with.  In fact, instead of continuously trying to minimize their weaknesses, he encouraged the audience to amplify them, crank up the volume and let them loose on the world!

The Freak Factor

The Freak Factor, David’s latest book makes you wonder how you’ve got it so wrong for so many years. But then you remember that societal conditioning begins from the day that you are born. The hopes, dreams and experiences of previous generations dictate what is acceptable, what is normal. Our parents, siblings, teachers, law enforcement, media, they all emphatically stress the importance of being normal. Normal however, is found in your comfort zone, giving you permission to cruise and pass under the radar unnoticed. Normal people will never be excellent, and it’s not because they can’t be excellent, it’s because they chose not to be. Be aware, society vehemently fights against excellence.

What Makes Us Weird Also Makes Us Wonderful
What Makes Us Weak Also Makes Us Strong

What Are Your Characteristics?

Which characteristics do you attribute to yourself? What would you say your strengths are? Does being thoughtful, realistic, enthusiastic, creative or organised resonate with you? And what about your weaknesses? Have you ever been called shy, critical, quick-tempered, disorganized or inflexible? Have you ever considered that no single characteristic is all positive and no negative? Superhero’s are the perfect example. They split opinion about whether they are saving a city, or terrorising it. Consider Ghandi and Charles Manson; very similar personality traits but utilised in vastly different ways.  One was a prolific civil rights activist, the other a prolific serial killer.

The Best Characteristics

There are no characteristics that are all upside and no downside. The strengths and weaknesses listed above are in fact the same characteristics on opposite ends of a sliding scale. Thoughtfulness in excess can trigger analysis paralysis, needless introspection and shyness. Realistic people can quickly become critical, enthusiastic becomes quick-tempered, creative become disorganised and organised becomes rigid or inflexible.

So Why Do Our Emotions Become Exaggerated?

In our formative years, as we conform to the immense pressure and lofty standards of others, we attempt to squash our innate characteristics that are perceived as weaknesses. However, the human spirit is incredibly resilient and proud of your uniqueness. It refuses to be moulded as rudimentarily as you think possible. Psychologists call them leaky characteristics. The more you try to stuff them down, the more they will leak out and show up at the most inopportune times, normally in stressful situations. Instead, recognise these characteristics, nurture them and help them to flow. Surround yourself with people that draw out these unique traits and love you for them. Be that person for them too.

If you can’t find the right fit, create the right fit

If you are a librarian and you’re re-discovering your love for talking, this is an example of a wrong fit. Similarly, if you are pilot and you’re exploring your impulsiveness behind the
controls, wrong fit. Turn up the volume on your weaknesses, but be sure to also align yourself with things, people and situations that put a spotlight on what you have, not on what you don’t have.

Focus on changing where you are rather than who you are. Michael Phelps, the American Olympic swimmer is a prolific athlete but was in fact recognised as having ADHD at a young age. His mother had two options to quench his hyperactive nature. Either to quieten it with a lifetime of medication, or to position him in an environment that rewards his hyperactivity. The rest is history.

Live Authentically

Shedding a life time of conditioning is a daunting prospect but an incredibly uplifting, liberating and nourishing one. Reflect back to when you were a kid, before you were taught the ‘rules of the world’.  You believed your only limitation was your imagination. Your day was not defined by the right shoes, perfect networking at the sand pit or an organised toy collection. You had no inhibitions. Sit quietly for an hour and let your mind wander. If money was no object, how would you be living your life, what would be important to you?

Follow your inner passion and don’t be afraid to manifest it, the only person who has permission to judge you, is you.

Dave Rendall is the author of four books, The Four Factors of Effective Leadership, The Freak Factor and The Freak Factor for Kids. You can find more information about all of his upcoming events at If you would like our team of expert coaches to help you discover your strengths and weakness then please email for a free strategy session.

Life coaching can help you find your happiness

“ Coaches who can outline plays on a black board are a dime a dozen. The ones who win get inside their player and motivate”
– Vince Lombardi, considered one of the greatest coaches in American football history (1913 – 1970)

Our lives abound with infinite possibilities and we have chosen every element of the life that we live today. How many of us know that we are free to shape our destiny and deserve a meaningful existence of supreme happiness?

“ Coaches who can outline plays on a black board are a dime a dozen. The ones who win get inside their player and motivate”
– Vince Lombardi, considered one of the greatest coaches in American football history (1913 – 1970)

Our lives abound with infinite possibilities and we have chosen every element of the life that we live today. How many of us know that we are free to shape our destiny and deserve a meaningful existence of supreme happiness? This thought, which should seemingly liberate us often ultimately, scares us into paralysis.

Freewill can be a daunting vortex; what if we make the wrong decision, what will people think? Negativity thwarts our dreams almost as quickly as they begin to form. We are blinded by our own conditioning instilled since childhood and protection mechanisms that we have created in response to life experiences. It is almost impossible for us to see past our own negative self-talk and perceive a true path to freedom. A life coach is a helping hand, your guide to take you through the looking glass. They are independent facilitators that have nothing to gain except your growth.

I wholeheartedly believe that everybody should have a life coach at some point in their life. A successful life coaching relationship should be a short lived one. They are not your crutch to get you through life or to make your decisions for you. In fact a coach should never make any decisions for you. As Vince Lombardi said, “ is not so much outlining plays on a blackboard that aids us in achieving greatness..”. This information can be found in any self-help book anywhere in the world. It is the ability of the life coach to guide us to a safe place where anything is possible.

I found the UAE Coaching website late one night and I am eternally grateful that I did. It was a decision that changed my life. I actually thought I was perfectly happy in the life I was leading, but felt there was that little sparkle missing. The cherry was missing off my cake and I wasn’t sure where to find it!

Adam contacted me within 12 hours of submitting my enquiry and put me right at ease with his humor. A key to getting the most out of a coach is to remember that they are not perfect, judgmental superhuman beings that do no wrong. They are on the exact voyage of discovery that you are, so they are nothing to be scared of! What makes them special is that they understand the process behind realising your true motivations in life.

It is the disciplined process of sitting down and putting pen to paper. The act of creating a clear action plan and devising the tools you need to achieve each goal in incremental steps so that you don’t become overwhelmed. Then they hold you accountable for each action.

Adam and I meet for one hour every two weeks, which is the perfect amount of time for me to implement each action point that we have agreed upon in a session. It also gives me ample time to adjust to my new level of thinking. In my second session Adam made me realise that I must always think bigger than my business currently is. I thought I understood this point at the time, but it was not until my fifth session that the magnitude of this statement truly hit home. It was a game changer, opening a universe of possibilities that I am now implementing.

Life coaching is perceived as an expensive service only used by highflying CEO’s, however we are all CEOs of our own lives. If I can truthfully tell you that after only three sessions with Adam I was now living the life I always wanted to live, then you would have to agree this is the most valuable experience you can ever have. Adam boosts this value on a daily basis with unlimited access to his extensive contacts,resources and support.

I now have my own company, brilliant clients, my first employee; and best of all the freedom to travel and live each day exactly as I choose. Why waste time bashing through the tall grass struggling to find your way when you can soar on the jet stream. I know which one I chose.

If you are interested in a free strategy session with Adam or one of his team of coaches please click here