How being an overachiever can lead to serious long-term misery and simple steps to become a high performer

Are you an overachiever or a high performer? Throughout my coaching experience I have coached many hardworking clients who have come to me because they are working long hours, are anxious and stressed about the future and unbalanced. In a recent article I was recently asked what the difference between an overachiever and a high performer was and to give tips on how to transition from the unhealthy role of an overachiever to the more healthy and rewarding role of a high performer.

Before I delve into some detail about the traits of an overachiever through a set of questions, it is important to sumarise the key aspects of the high performer. These people understand that the process is just as important as the result. They are the ones who nurture the people around them and build up businesses. The journey becomes the vital component in ensuring true long term success. So as you can see it is very healthy and fruitful to become a high performer, but why is it so unhealthy to be an overachiever?

Q) In your opinion what qualities or characteristics set overachievers apart from the rest?

  • They are future focused, constantly worrying about what the future holds rather than enjoying the present and the journey itself.
  • They are perfectionists, going above and beyond on each and every task they do.
  • Work long hours, doing more of the work that people would stay away from.
  • They hate failure or fear it and if they fail they view it as a slight on themselves.
  • They secretly have a lot of self doubt, thinking they are not good enough.
  • They seek love and approval through external ways. They will work harder than everyone else and do more on a task because they think it equates to love. By working hard people will love them more.

Q) Do you think that once a person starts doing well in a certain field there is a certain pressure to continue to excel? Both internally and externally?

  • Yes if you start very well and set high (unrealistic) expectations to start with you will be putting pressure on yourself and facing pressure from others to maintain or even surpass that level. Raise the bar too soon and you are expected to keep growing and pushing on, sometimes to an unrealistic level. I believe slow and steady wins the race and it is better for long term emotional health. Pick and choosing what to excel or work even harder on is key. The bosses will give more work and praise lots. You may come addicted to the validation that you associate with praise, feeling love and respect comes from working harder and getting praised. You will then search for more to do and say yes to things you should not be doing and that others don’t want to do.

Q) Tell me about that internal pressure — how can it take a toll on a person?

  • It can lead to that person becoming stressed and exhausted. All the long hours to get ahead of the game and doing work to ‘perfection’ – editing it, improving it and never quite thinking it will be good enough. It may lead to you not sleeping that much or have interrupted sleep as your brain is engaged and active.
  • The never-ending competition with yourself and others will inevitably take its strain. Overachievers view failure more as a personal reflection on themselves and it will eat them up inside, whereas a high performer is more likely to embrace failure as part of the journey to ultimate goals. Rather than fear it and stay in the comfort zone they seek challenges and the growth that comes from that.

Q) Can it lead to an early burnout?

  • Yes over achievers tend to be unbalanced. They tend to sacrifice their social life for a perfectionist life duly working on everything they are given regardless of the value it adds.
  • They will feel resentment in long term and quickly burn out. If you imagine spinning lots of plates at once, eventually you will become tired and drop them.

Q) What can over achievers start to do to handle the internal pressure?

  • They can set a realistic time limit on their decisions and tasks and stick to it as best as they can. Flawlessness and perfection is impossible, in fact it’s the enemy of good. Yes its ok to do over and above for some things but not everything. Pick over and above for the high value tasks.
  • Start to do less important things imperfectly – set a certain time for those tasks and do the best job within that time slot. Then assign more time for the high priority, bigger, and most valuable tasks.
  • Think about your work duties and strengths and take a moment to ask yourself the following things:
    “Is this something I’m expected to do within my job role?”
    “Is this something I enjoy and have a strength for doing?”
    If yes…
    “How will it benefit me or the company if I do it?”
    “What is the value added of doing this job?”
  • Focus on work that adds value not putting excessive work into things anybody can do and becoming a busy bee. Anybody work does not get you the promotion.
  • Know when to wait, when to attack, how to sacrifice, and when to change direction.
  • Take a moment to meditate daily (headspace app) so you are in the present instead of angry/upset about past and being anxious or worried about the future.

Q) What can over achievers do to handle the external pressure? (from parents/ friends/ teachers or colleagues if they’re working)

  • Communicate openly and honestly to manage expectations
  • Learn to say no on occasions to work that does not add value.
  • Take time out to strategies and target the value added / most important task first.
  • Listen to your own self-talk and be more loving towards yourself. Your words and thoughts are more valuable than others.
  • Take time out for self (life balance). Make your health (physical and emotionally) the most important priority.
  • Start meditation. Try first with Headspace – a free app to get you into the present frame of mind for 10-15 minutes a day. Remember you don’t need to be great at it, do your best and know you will improve. Know that great things take time and commitment.
  • Learn to take off the mask and put the ego aside. Practise being your transparent, authentic and honest self.

Q) What should all overachievers keep in mind in order to transition into high performers (achievers)?

  • It is so important to remember that the joy is in the journey itself and not purely on the outcome. Success or failure is simply feedback and learning that will help your future growth.
  • Life is about taking risks and sometimes failing. It is how you will ultimately grow. Good and great things come outside the comfort (dying) zone and on the other end of fear are the challenges you need to grow.
  • Choose tasks that will quicken your growth, that are a struggle, yet add great value. You cannot win and be great at everything. Pick and select what you will do and what you will work over and above at.
  • You feeling of love do not come from someone else praise on the tasks you do. It comes from inside of you. Work on loving yourself regardless. Get in the habit of talking positively about yourself and your worth.
  • Differentiate between the image you project and the real person you are. As an overachiever, you are tempted by the trappings of success because they are proof that, “You won the game.” At least this one. You feeling of love do not come from someone else praise on the tasks you do. It comes from inside of you. Work on loving yourself regardless. Get in the habit of getting self recognition (talking positively about yourself and your worth) rather than external recognition
  • Start to say no to unrealistic expectation from others and most importantly from yourself.

How you can grow and become even more successful

“Great things never came at the end of your comfort zone

Did you know that 95% of the behaviour you do is auto piloted and comes in the period of up to 7 years old and is on autopilot. The subconscious mind is a servant that works day and night for you to make your behavior fit a pattern consistent with your emotionalized thoughts, hopes, and desires. Your subconscious mind grows either flowers or weeds in the garden of your life, whichever you plant by the mental equivalents you create.

“Great things never came at the end of your comfort zone

Did you know that 95% of the behaviour you do is auto piloted and comes in the period of up to 7 years old and is on autopilot. The subconscious mind is a servant that works day and night for you to make your behavior fit a pattern consistent with your emotionalized thoughts, hopes, and desires. Your subconscious mind grows either flowers or weeds in the garden of your life, whichever you plant by the mental equivalents you create.

Your subconscious mind keeps you thinking and acting in a manner consistent with what you have done and said in the past.

All your habits of thinking and acting are stored in your subconscious mind. It has memorised all your comfort zones and it works to keep you in them. It causes you to feel emotionally and physically uncomfortable whenever you attempt to do anything new or different, or to change any of your established patterns of behavior.

Have you ever tried something new or risky and then felt an urge or pull to go back toward your comfort zone each time. Even thinking about doing something different from what you’re accustomed to will make you feel tense and uneasy.

Game Changer:

It is precisely what frightens you the most that you need to do.

Many of our clients come to us to develop, to be held accountable for grow by taking action out of their comfort zone. These successful men and women are always stretching themselves, pushing themselves, fully aware how quickly the comfort zone, in any area, becomes a rut. They are the 3% in the world that know that complacency is the great enemy of success


For you to grow, to get out of your comfort zone, you have to be willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable doing new things the first few times. If it’s worth doing well, it’s worth doing poorly until you get a feel for it, until you develop a new comfort zone at a new, higher level of competence.

What is the uncomfortable thing you must do personally and professionally in order to grow?

By coming to us they are not just getting the typical life coach approach to working on the surface level aspects. All our coaches are trained to create lasting change by using Time Line Therapy to help release any negative emotions or limiting beliefs that is sabotaging the conscious brains quest to reach its goals.


Contact us for a free strategy session to understand how our Master NLP Life Coaches can help you, your family or your employees grow. Email or call us on 0551387652

Life coaching can help you find your happiness

“ Coaches who can outline plays on a black board are a dime a dozen. The ones who win get inside their player and motivate”
– Vince Lombardi, considered one of the greatest coaches in American football history (1913 – 1970)

Our lives abound with infinite possibilities and we have chosen every element of the life that we live today. How many of us know that we are free to shape our destiny and deserve a meaningful existence of supreme happiness?

“ Coaches who can outline plays on a black board are a dime a dozen. The ones who win get inside their player and motivate”
– Vince Lombardi, considered one of the greatest coaches in American football history (1913 – 1970)

Our lives abound with infinite possibilities and we have chosen every element of the life that we live today. How many of us know that we are free to shape our destiny and deserve a meaningful existence of supreme happiness? This thought, which should seemingly liberate us often ultimately, scares us into paralysis.

Freewill can be a daunting vortex; what if we make the wrong decision, what will people think? Negativity thwarts our dreams almost as quickly as they begin to form. We are blinded by our own conditioning instilled since childhood and protection mechanisms that we have created in response to life experiences. It is almost impossible for us to see past our own negative self-talk and perceive a true path to freedom. A life coach is a helping hand, your guide to take you through the looking glass. They are independent facilitators that have nothing to gain except your growth.

I wholeheartedly believe that everybody should have a life coach at some point in their life. A successful life coaching relationship should be a short lived one. They are not your crutch to get you through life or to make your decisions for you. In fact a coach should never make any decisions for you. As Vince Lombardi said, “ is not so much outlining plays on a blackboard that aids us in achieving greatness..”. This information can be found in any self-help book anywhere in the world. It is the ability of the life coach to guide us to a safe place where anything is possible.

I found the UAE Coaching website late one night and I am eternally grateful that I did. It was a decision that changed my life. I actually thought I was perfectly happy in the life I was leading, but felt there was that little sparkle missing. The cherry was missing off my cake and I wasn’t sure where to find it!

Adam contacted me within 12 hours of submitting my enquiry and put me right at ease with his humor. A key to getting the most out of a coach is to remember that they are not perfect, judgmental superhuman beings that do no wrong. They are on the exact voyage of discovery that you are, so they are nothing to be scared of! What makes them special is that they understand the process behind realising your true motivations in life.

It is the disciplined process of sitting down and putting pen to paper. The act of creating a clear action plan and devising the tools you need to achieve each goal in incremental steps so that you don’t become overwhelmed. Then they hold you accountable for each action.

Adam and I meet for one hour every two weeks, which is the perfect amount of time for me to implement each action point that we have agreed upon in a session. It also gives me ample time to adjust to my new level of thinking. In my second session Adam made me realise that I must always think bigger than my business currently is. I thought I understood this point at the time, but it was not until my fifth session that the magnitude of this statement truly hit home. It was a game changer, opening a universe of possibilities that I am now implementing.

Life coaching is perceived as an expensive service only used by highflying CEO’s, however we are all CEOs of our own lives. If I can truthfully tell you that after only three sessions with Adam I was now living the life I always wanted to live, then you would have to agree this is the most valuable experience you can ever have. Adam boosts this value on a daily basis with unlimited access to his extensive contacts,resources and support.

I now have my own company, brilliant clients, my first employee; and best of all the freedom to travel and live each day exactly as I choose. Why waste time bashing through the tall grass struggling to find your way when you can soar on the jet stream. I know which one I chose.

If you are interested in a free strategy session with Adam or one of his team of coaches please click here

Should you get a life coach?

Life coaches give you an advantage

Coaching is one of the fastest growing professional fields and more and more individuals; companies are using life coaches to develop them further and to give them the edge.

Is it necessary to have one? If you want to grow, and to grow quicker than you could by yourself then the answer is a definite yes. People in sports and fitness use coaches all the time to enhance their performance level. They could do it themselves but they know that to get to peak performance and to grow consistently having a coach will give them that extra boost. Holding yourself accountable is a lot more difficult than an expert or mentor doing it for you. Take some of the pressure off yourself and let our team of expert NLP coaches help support you.

Some people use a NLP life coach for their personal life and some for their professional life and even to help develop their family life or help their child gain positive life habits and tools. Some people use a NLP life coach permanently, whilst others are going through a period of complication or transformation and so will have a coach for one coaching journey, typically 10 sessions over 5 months. At UAE Coaching we have a wide range of personal and professional clients. Coaching is not about issues; it is about utilising your strengths to develop further.

Do you feel in a rut that is taking your confidence?

When we look at why our clients have come to us there are common trends with people wanting to work on boosting their confidence or feeling stuck in their present personal or professional life rut. You might be reading this and feel a bit indecisive about what step to take next. Maybe a change in career is a possibility, or perhaps you’re thinking about getting married or having a divorce, going for a promotion or having a career change. But what is the right choice for you?
Our expert life coaches can help. They’ll talk things through with you, ask questions and try to uncover what you really want deep down. You’ll be amazed at the things you will learn about yourself, and the confidence that you will have to follow through with a decision that will, potentially, change your life. One of our current clients Kathryn Horsley has made a massive jump in only a couple of sessions leaving her job in the financial sector to pursue her passion and has opened up a copywriting business called CHAI that has started brilliantly. We have others who have left their jobs to open up cafes, bakeries and home delivery services as well as someone who wanted to be a writer and has now self written a children’s’ book. The point being is when you get coached your hidden passion or passions come out and you build momentum and gain confidence to make the changes you have wanted.

Do you want to get out of your comfort zone?

The comfort zone is the worst place you can be in. One of the 6 human basic needs is growth. Without challenge your life will feel boring and unfulfilled. A life coach will help you set challenges and work out 1,3, 5 and 10 year goals to keep you motivated and growing personally and professionally. Imagine getting up again excited by what challenges await you, re learning something or striving for something that until now has seemed a dream out of reach.

Do you have no one impartial to speak and seek support from?

Sometimes speaking to friends, a spouse or a colleague is not the right thing for you. These people think they know you and what is best for you so they give you advise from their perspectives. A trained life coach will be non judgmental, remain impartial and question you until you get the clarity, answers and actions you want. They will then hold you accountable and further motivate you to improve your way of living and thinking. Our clients often quote the fact they get a massive motivational booster attending regular coaching sessions with our coaches and that they have steps that they can action in between sessions. A big advantage of our coaching is we offer support (texts, calls, emails, books) to assist you between sessions

Does it sound like a life coach could be good for you? Check out our personal, professional or family coaching services and get in contact now for a free strategy session with one of our friendly, expert coaches. We love to create an environment where others like you can succeed.

5 Ways to Discover Your Passion and Choose To Live Life

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses…The gift is yours—it is an amazing journey—and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.” ~Bob Moawad

In this blog find 5 simple ways to take ownership of your life and your unique journey. Through reading this we can help support you in finding a career you are truly passionate about and that reflects your unique values and experiences.

1. Relax with “ME time”:

When we take the time to relax we are able to rediscover the best version of ourselves, which is most often when we find the answers we’ve been searching for. This might mean practicing yoga, going for daily walks, setting aside time each day to meditate and think through things or even write our thoughts and ideas in a journal. Taking time out to have your “ME time” allows you to quiet the outside voices and listen to yourself. When was the last time you took some time out and some of the above? Is anything more important than you?

2. Rewrite your story:

Every day we are telling ourselves stories about who we are, what we’re capable of, and what we deserve. If we can identify our self-limiting stories (I’m not good enough; I don’t deserve to be happy, etc.), then we can begin rewriting new stories that are grounded in confidence and courage, and map out actions that move us from one to the other.Would you want to read a negative ending in which you are the main character? No! Its time to go back to the happy ever after stories of our childhood and write one for yourself.

3. Own your uniqueness:

We are all here for a reason and we all have skills and qualities that when added together are unique to us. No one else has your unique blend of talents, strengths, skills, creativity and the past experiences that you have gone through and that have shaped you. We all have something great to offer, and learning to accept and own what makes you unique is crucial to sharing your gifts with the world. Would your swap the feelings of living one day doing what you most want compared to 10 years of something you hate!

4. Discover and understand your patterns:

It is so important to take time to reflect on the past experiences so that you can learn from them for the future. Were there recurring patterns in your career to date that triggers the emotions of unfulfilment and disillusionment you are feeling right now? What are you magnetized to again and again? What areas of life do you attract that seem to be full of discomfort and pain? What of your career in the past bought happiness?

5. Push past fear and see the journey ahead as fun:

Now is the right time. Time is finite and so it is important to make the most of each second. It is never to late to find your calling and be fulfilled in your personal life and career life. You must identify the excuses that you are and will make as decisions over career or relationships become closer as masks for our fear. Some excuses are listed below:

Excuses About Time
1. I’m too busy to do what I love.
2. I don’t have time to discover what I’m passionate about.
3. I’ve already put a lot of time into a different path.
4. I’ll do it—someday.
5. It’s too late for me now.
Excuses About Money
6. I don’t have the money to get started.
7. I need to continue earning exactly what I earn now.
8. I can’t make any changes until I pay off my debt.
9. I need a bigger safety net before I take a risk.
10. What if I can’t make any money at it?
Excuses About Knowledge
11. I don’t know where to start.
12. I don’t know enough to start.
13. I’m not smart enough to succeed.
14. I don’t know if I can make it.
15. I’m not an expert.
Excuses About Other People
16. My friends and family don’t think I can do this.
17. My friends and family don’t think I should do this.
18. I need to focus on the people who need me.
19. I don’t have anyone to do this with.
20. It’s all about who you know—and I don’t know the right people.
Excuses About Probability
21. Things likely wouldn’t pan out.
22. Many people have tried to do this and failed.
23. I’ll probably be scared and uncomfortable if I try.
24. I’m not sure if this is the “right” decision.
25. There aren’t any guarantees.

As leading coaches we will share with you the amazing OAR v BED tool that will blow these excuses out of your vocabulary.
It’s only when we get clear on our fears and recognise how they are preventing us from moving to a better life and to being a better person that we can truly feel alive again. When we help you discover a career doing something you are passionate about you will never feel like you are working again.

Recommended Book:

The monk who sold his Ferrari by Robin Sharma.


Is NOW the best time for you to get the career and personal life that you deserve?
Click here to find out more about our personal life and development coaching services or email info@localhost to book a  FREE consultation.

8 top tips to settle back into UAE life after a summer vacation

Worry about your children adjusting back to UAE life after a summer overseas? Here are our top tips to help you and your child settle back into UAE life quickly…

1. Booking flights
It is never easy to say goodbye to the summer and settle back into UAE life, but alas, all good things must come to an end. When travelling back home, give you and your family a week to settle back into a routine. Spend a few days unpacking and relaxing, but quickly reestablish bedtimes and mealtimes. Remind children the joys of being back home by arranging play-dates or spending quality time with them.
If it is a long journey, it is easier to take a night flight. If you have a long day flight, carefully plan your child’s nap so it falls in the middle of the journey. This will break the journey up for both parent and child. If possible, plan to arrive back into Dubai in the daytime. This makes it easier to get over the jetlag.

2. Saying Goodbye
It is harder for adults to say goodbye than children. For children, they have a whole new adventure of the plane ride and arriving home to occupy their thoughts. Keep goodbyes cheerful. Acknowledge their feelings of sadness and together decide on actions to make the goodbye easier. Make or buy something little as a keepsake of the trip. Take pictures of happy moments and relive those memories on the plane. Talk to your child about going home excitedly. Having something to look forward to makes saying goodbye easier for both parent and adult. This will help you all settle back into UAE life.

3. The Flight.
The flight is the hardest part. Pack little activities to entertain them through the flight. After take off, spend some time recounting the trip. Initiate conversations with these questions – What did you enjoy the most? What could we have done to make it better? Did any part of the journey make you feel unhappy? How do you plan on staying in touch? Pack pencils and paper to recount the trip in pictures or words. Other essentials of a long flight home can include snack, travel games, stickers, iPad with their favorite games and iPad chargers. Introduce one activity at a time. Pack all medicines needed, bottles, and pacifiers and if possible take an extra pair of clothing.

4. Getting Unpacked
Being home has the advantage of unused, clean clothes waiting to be worn, and toys idly waiting for their keepers. Children will happily occupy themselves with these. Keep essentials like pajamas, pacifiers, bottles, or towels in one suitcase to be opened quickly upon arrival.

5. Getting over jetlag quickly
The good thing is that children bounce back quicker from jetlag than adults. If time permits, let the body clock be a rough guide for the first few days back. Spend as much time outdoors as possible and keep afternoon siestas short. Once you have unpacked and have had a day or two of rest, begin to follow your daily routine. Put children to sleep earlier, and everyday move bedtime earlier until you get to the correct bedtime. Consistency is key.

6. Settling back into UAE life
The fastest way to settle back into UAE is to simply start living. It is advisable to have all essentials of school ready before your trip so you don’t have to begin scrambling for those after a fun holiday. Unpack quickly and dive in. Iron uniforms, shop for stationary for school, and arrange a play date or two. Most importantly, talk excitedly about the new school year and how much fun is to be had. Try not to focus on the early starts and snack boxes. It is harder for adults than it is for children. Use this time to recall fun memories of the summer, keep in touch with newly met relatives and enjoy the last bits of summer before the alarm sets off the school year.

7. Remembering the summer
Sadness is reality of life and it is important to embrace the melancholy a child might feel after a trip. Listen actively to how your child is feeling, without correcting their sadness into happiness. Paraphrase their thoughts – “You feel sad because you can no longer play with your cousins”. “You wish you were not in Dubai because you are feeling hot”. Once you affirm their emotions, ask your child how they would like to move forward. “Is there anything in Dubai that brings you happiness?”, “Is there anything we can do to remember these times fondly?”, “How can you ensure you keep in touch with the friends and family you met in the summer?” Staying in touch via email or Skype, making a memory book of photos and souvenirs and fondly reminiscing about the summer makes theses memories special.

8. Looking after ourselves
As mentioned previously, saying goodbye, the flight home and settling into UAE life and routines are much harder on the parent than it is for the child. As adults we completely comprehend who and what we are leaving behind. Use similar strategies for yourself as you do for your child. Plan coffee dates with friends, talk about your trip, indulge in private grumbles about early wake ups and school runs. Most importantly, positively be open with your children about your travel blues and together you will muddle through it.

If your child is still struggling to settle back into UAE life there may be an underlying issue. Please click here if you would like a FREE child development coaching consultation.

3 ways to get peak confidence in Dubai

People who are confident have more friends, create better job opportunities and have more fun.
Think back to a time when you were in the peak of confidence. You woke up feeling great, you loved the sight of your reflection in the window as you were making the way to the gym and were energised from the healthy food choices you were making. It was almost as if the heavens opened and showered you with gifts and opportunities at every corner. Look closely and you will see that it was not by luck or chance. The consistent right choices were feeding your success and boosting you confidence. In this blog post you will learn three simple strategies to boost your confidence.
Continue reading “3 ways to get peak confidence in Dubai”