Are there times in your life when you wonder why certain situations, jobs, conversations just don’t feel right? We often say “I just didn’t warm to him/her” or “I’m not happy with the work ethic of that company.”
In our lives, we all have things we hold as important that we wish to be met in the varying contexts of our life e.g work, home, health. These are our key Criteria. When our criteria are met, we feel great, aligned and on track. When these aren’t met, we can feel on edge or unhappy. Things can be going against the grain for us.
Understanding your highest criteria in certain contexts can provide you with the ability to make the right decisions and choices to increase your alignment and being fulfilled in that area of your life.
Whilst your criteria may differ across the various contexts of your life, they will be guided by your Values. Values usually span all the contexts in your life.
Knowing what your values are will help you to make better decisions when you have choices and also help you to understand your reactions and give you more emotional intelligence when your choices are limited.
Understand your higher Criteria and Values and take these 10 steps to become more resourceful for decision-making:
To understand the important Criteria in a context, take the following steps:
- Choose an area in your life and ask yourself:
‘What is important to me in this particular context?’
- Then ask ‘What else is important?’ and repeat this question so you have at least 6 things listed.
- Review the list and choose the three that resonate the most with you.
These are your highest criteria for that area of your life.
- Now take a step back, and look at whether your top 3 are being met in that particular context of your life?
If they are: Great! You are likely to feel aligned and comfortable in your current path in that area.
If they are not: How does it make you feel? If you want to improve or change this feeling, ask: ‘How can I create options for my top 3 to be present in that context?’
- Repeat this exercise with any of the contexts in your life.
To understand the Values that drive you and your decisions, take the following steps:
- Pick a peak experience where you felt aligned. Things were rich, full and flowing. There may have been challenges but you were on a roll.
- Now think about what was important to you in that situation. Were there any Values that were being honoured?
- Now think about a low experience where something or someone drives you crazy or makes you upset or frustrated. What is it you are feeling, thinking or hearing?
- What values in this situation are being violated? Is the value being neglected and you don’t feel ‘true to yourself’?
- Now take a step back and look at the relationship between the two experiences (Peak and Low). What are the Values being honoured and neglected?
How does this affect you?
What could you do to have more peak experiences?
What values need to be honoured so you feel more fulfilled?
What can you do so your decisions are more aligned with your Values?
If you can’t make those decisions, now you are aware of the Values being challenged or violated, how can you better manage your response?
What will you do differently now?
When you know what your criteria and values are, it gives you the power to make better-informed decisions, where alignment and satisfaction play out, if you choose for it to. It also gives you an understanding as to why you may feel frustrated, tense or not warming to a person or situation.
Remember: Your life is your creation. Is your knowledge of What’s Important To You supportive of a fulfilled life?
You can’t make the proper adjustments if you’re unaware of your challenges. You can’t create change if you don’t make the adjustments.
Contact us for a free strategy session to understand how our Master NLP Life Coaches can help you better understand your life and where you want to be. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or call us on 0551387652.